Peace of One’s Mind

“I had 5 boyfriends before. This may seem hard to believe, but yes I did. In the past, I was this shameless girl who had always been dating around. In a way, I was an attention whore. I longed for boys’ love, but I wouldn’t return the same kind of love to them. I selfishly expected everyone to treat me with caress and kindness. It wasn’t until one week ago had I realized how much effort my current boyfriend takes to see me. He doesn’t live near this place at all and has to take 2 hours of public transportation (metro) to come see me. We only hung out for about an hour then he had to go back. I not only depreciated our time together (by complaining, “why are you late for 15 minutes”) but wasn’t understanding toward the distance he has to travel and the time he had to take off his schedule.”

“What do you think is the factor that made you change all of a sudden?”

“Exactly a week ago, I took faith in Buddhism (from my boss). You mentioned that you are a Christian, but frankly speaking, we are the same. I believe the Gods in all different religions are referring to the same single, powerful, divine being. That being is just taking on different plots in different regions over the world. After letting Buddha into life, my spirit was cleansed; after becoming a follower of a God, I was able to meet spiritually clean people like you.”

“Thank you so much for your kind words, and you definitely know this already, but please remember that nobody in this world is obligated to be nice to you, so when someone is nice, you need to be appreciative of the deeds that person is doing and try your best to return the same type of kindness. During my time here, I will help you improve your English skills :D”

Lovely front-desk lady at a dance studio
Lovely front-desk lady at a dance studio

Be Yourself

“Well, it’s your life. Why listen to others? If you are truly interested in linguistics and language learning, go ahead and do so. Listen to me, both the Japanese and Shanghainese language systems are truly similar as neither systems possess retroflex. Learning an extra language really helps with being a citizen of the world.”
” I know that, and I want to do that. But my dad is constantly bombarding me with his values. He is very controlling and wants me to do exactly as he oughts me to. I dislike people who are very controlling and that’s why we’ve gotten in quite a few fights, and the outcome has always been me submitting to his wishes.”
“You know, it’s you who will live your life., not your dad or any other person’s.”
“I said that to him, but he said since he’s the one paying my remaining tuition (aside from scholarship coverage,) I have to listen to him.”
“Well, I see how this can be very frustrating. If I were you, I would remain calm when conversing with him even though it’s hard. I would tell him that I know all the benefits and drawbacks associated with my choice of major, and that I believe I can take the drawbacks.”
“…he’s a very difficult person though…”
“Well, if he threatens to halt your education, just ask him if he would be willing to raise you for the rest of your life. Your future should only be in your hands. Learning anything is useful as long as you are willing to put in the work to really know that skill.”

 

On the Plane

IMG_3795

“My husband spent 8 years waiting for me. I met him while working in America after I finished my masters in my earlier years. It wasn’t really a good time since I didn’t have American residency and that my family was against me dating a white guy (they wanted her to date and marry Chinese) back then. But my husband was persistent. I had to go back to China during my period of job vacancy after my first internship had ended. I’ll be honest with you, normal people would just breakup if that’s the case., but he didn’t. For 8 years, he would fly to China, 2 to 3 times per year, just to see me. Eventually his persistence moved my family, and that’s how we wedded.”

“In your opinion, what’s the most important factor that kept your relationship going when you guys were split up for that long ?”

“Understanding. I have understood his love, and he has done the same.”